Raising Informed Kids

Working with children every day, I see the critical importance of teaching them about themselves, including their bodies. One powerful story comes to mind that underscores why teaching young children the correct terms for their body parts is essential.

Penny was a 6-year-old in first grade who was often picked on by the older kids on her bus. She was a new student who felt vulnerable—sensitive, shy, and easily scared. One day, an older student came up behind Penny and yanked the hat she was wearing straight off her head. Laughing, he took it to the back of the bus.

"Give that back!" she cried.

"Or what?!" one of the bullies provoked with a smug smile.

Penny furrowed her brow and mustered all the courage she had to shout back to the bully, "I'll tell the bus driver, and you'll get in trouble!"

The older kids laughed at her. The boy who stole her hat got closer to Penny. He leaned his face even closer and whispered in her ear, "Oh yeah?! Well, I'll tell the bus driver that you touched my penis, and you'll get in bigger trouble than me!"

This interaction was terrifying and confusing for Penny. She didn't know what the bully was referring to, but she could tell by the tone of his voice that it was something serious. Penny sat frozen until her bus stop, running as fast as she could to her house. She went straight to her room, bawling at the confusion of what had just happened. Penny wanted to tell her parents but worried about getting in trouble for saying 'a bad word.' She also feared the bully would find out she had told on him and pick on her even more, so she stayed quiet. Penny started having nightmares and became defiant in the mornings as she refused to go to school. I, too, noticed a change in behavior in the classroom. After talking to her parents, we agreed to have the school counselor speak to Penny, where the whole story finally came out, and we could deal with it therapeutically.

This story is just one example of how knowing the correct names for body parts can help empower a child—whether they're being bullied by their peers or targeted by abusive adults. Teaching kids anatomically correct names for body parts is a way we can protect them when they're not in our direct care.

Using the correct terms for body parts can significantly enhance a child's body image and self-esteem. When parents and caregivers use proper anatomical names for genitals, it eliminates any sense of shame or taboo surrounding those body parts. This conveys to children that their entire body is normal and natural, fostering comfort and confidence in their physical selves.

In most international schools, we introduce these concepts early on. We use anatomically correct terms in age-appropriate ways, creating an environment where talking about the body is expected and encouraged. For example, we discuss body parts openly and factually during our well-being lessons. We use books that name each part and ensure that every student understands these terms without embarrassment, shame, or fear.

In order to make a profound impact on our children, the learning must be reinforced at home. Parents play a vital and irreplaceable role in this process, empowering them to be the primary educators of their children. Here are some practical ways to teach your children about their bodies and why it's so important:

• Use the Right Terminology: During everyday activities like bath time, name each body part as you wash it. "Let's wash your hands, arms, and legs. You can wash your vagina." This practice helps children learn the correct terms and makes the information a natural part of their daily routine.

• Read Together: Many children's books are designed to teach body parts in an engaging and age-appropriate way. Reading these books together can make learning enjoyable and memorable and give the family a common language to use.

• Encourage Questions: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions about their bodies. Answer their queries with straightforward, age-appropriate information. This openness fosters trust and helps children feel more confident about their bodies and their rights, including the importance of consent in interactions with others.

By discussing body parts openly and using correct terminology, you establish a foundation of trust that encourages children to talk about their bodies and their feelings. This practice enhances their body image and self-esteem, setting the stage for healthy sexual development into adolescence and adulthood. It also promotes safety by decreasing vulnerability, providing the language to report inappropriate behavior, and making children less desirable targets for abuse.

Body safety doesn't have to be complicated. Parents can use playful activities and games to teach kids the anatomically correct names for their body parts and start open conversations about body safety. With the right tools and opportunities for practice, children can reduce their vulnerability, speak up to bullies, share their experiences with caregivers, and get the support they need.

* All names have been changed to respect the privacy of families.

In the spirit of empowering our children,