The Device Debacle

By the age of 11, approximately half of children in the U.S. own a smartphone. When you give your child a cellphone, you hand them a powerful communication and entertainment tool. These devices become a constant presence in the lives of tweens and teens—a source of connection, creativity, and, indeed, distraction.

As a parent or caregiver, you play a crucial role in guiding your children toward healthy and responsible smartphone use. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this journey.

Determining the Appropriate Age for a Child's First Cellphone

Deciding when to give your child their first cellphone is a personal choice. It's not about age but about your child's maturity, ability to follow rules at home and school, sense of responsibility, and your family's unique needs.

If your child's tech-savviness outpaces their readiness to use a phone responsibly, you might need to delay this step. Consider these questions:

• Do your children show responsibility, like informing you when they leave home and arriving on time?

• Do they frequently lose belongings like backpacks or homework folders? If so, they might lose a phone as well.

• Do they need to be reachable for safety reasons?

• Would easy access to friends be beneficial for their social life?

• Will they use a cell phone responsibly, avoiding texting during class or disturbing others?

• Will they adhere to the boundaries you set for phone usage?

• Will they use texting, photo, and video features without causing embarrassment or harassment to others?

Adding a child to your phone plan can be expensive. For a first phone, consider these alternatives:

• A smartwatch with limited features, like the Verizon GizmoWatch or the TickTalk (availability may vary by country).

• A prepaid phone that avoids long-term contracts. Look for local carriers in your region that offer such plans.

• A "feature" phone with simple icons and limited functionality, such as the Nokia 225.

• A flip phone, like the Jitterbug Flip, is designed for seniors but is also great for kids because of its large numbers and GPS tracking.

• Affordable prepaid carriers are specific to your country. Here are some examples from around the world:

  • United States: Boost Mobile, Mint Mobile, Twigby, Tello

  • United Kingdom: giffgaff, Tesco Mobile, Asda Mobile, Lebara

  • Australia: ALDImobile, Amaysim, Boost Mobile, Lebara

  • Canada: Public Mobile, Chatr Mobile, Lucky Mobile, SpeakOut 7-Eleven

  • India: Jio, Airtel, Vodafone Idea, BSNL

  • Germany: Aldi Talk, Tchibo Mobil, Congstar, Lebara

  • Switzerland: M-Budget Mobile, Aldi Suisse Mobile, Coop Mobile, Lycamobile

  • Singapore: Singtel, StarHub, M1, Circles.Life

  • Philippines: Smart, Globe, Sun Cellular, DITO

These options provide flexibility and affordability, making them suitable for children's first phones. You can choose a plan that fits your budget and your child's needs, giving you peace of mind.

Basic Safety Rules for Cellphone Use

Before giving your child a cellphone, discuss these expectations:

• Texting: Be respectful to the people you're texting and those around you. Remember, private texts can become public in an instant.

• Calling: Verify who's calling. Don't respond to unknown numbers; always answer calls from parents or caregivers.

• Taking Pictures and Videos: Ask permission before taking or sharing someone's picture or video. Avoid posting unflattering or humiliating images without consent.

• Apps and Downloads: Apps, games, and in-app upgrades can cost money. Follow your family's agreements about purchases and seek permission if needed.

• Posting: Be cautious about what you post. Sharing private information and enabling location services can be risky.

Cellphone Use at School

Schools have different policies for cellphone use. To minimize distractions and maximize learning and social interactions, consider the following:

• Review your school's devices policy and discuss the expectations with your child.

• Ensure kids use phones infrequently and only when permitted, such as before and after school, for emergencies, or changes in plans.

• Set restrictions on notifications and app time limits to reduce distractions.

• Discuss acceptable and respectful behaviors, such as maintaining academic honesty, seeking permission before taking pictures or videos, and sharing appropriate content.

• Parents should resist the urge to text their kids during the school day unless it's urgent to avoid distractions.

Managing Phone Use

Constant phone use is typical for many kids but can interfere with family time, homework, and other responsibilities. Here are tips to help your child manage their phone use:

• Reflect on your child's phone habits through open, nonjudgmental conversations. Use tools like a Family Tech Planner to set goals and suggest changes, fostering a sense of understanding and connection.

• Encourage Face-to-Face Conversations: Turn off your phone during mealtimes, car rides, or public transportation to encourage in-person interactions.

• Model Good Behavior: Show the behavior you want to see, like avoiding texting while driving and explaining your phone use to younger kids.

• Charge Phones in a Common Area at Night: This gives kids a break from their phones.

• Establish Consequences: Set consequences for problematic phone use, like temporary time or location limits.

• Understand the Reasons: Start by being curious and talking with your child about why they might be on their phone so frequently, whether it's because of a distressed friend, a game's notifications, or avoiding stressful interactions at home.

Consider implementing a Family Media Contract to help structure and enforce these guidelines. This contract can help set clear expectations and boundaries for phone use, promoting responsible habits. You can find a customizable family media contract here.

By taking these steps, you can help your children use their smartphones safely, responsibly, and consistently.

In the spirit of empowering our children,